A few days leading up to January 1st, I started pondering on this past year, the beautiful new year ahead of us, and what that new year would mean to me. Then all of a sudden I got terrible food poisoning and I was down for 3 days straight, all day long. And holy cow, that slowed me down in a way I didn’t anticipate...but I recognized a few days in that it was so very necessary for me and my future.
Last year I had moments of intense stress that would come upon me every few weeks, and I’d hurry to act quickly to figure something out and just get whatever it was done. Often, I was a complete mess from it. Those moments were so hard for me to go through because I hated feeling so stressed and frustrated and upset. And this food poisoning had full opportunity to bring those same feelings to the surface- but it didn't happen. For some reason, I was at peace knowing this was the absolute best time I could get so incredibly sick and be down and out for 3 straight days. I hadn't started work yet, I hadn't started school yet, the things I needed to get done just had to be put on the back burner because I could do nothing productive I felt so weak. I learned a bit from those days sitting around watching all of the movies I've missed out on recently.
One of the main things I took away from this awful 3-day sickness was this: at the beginning of this new year, I really want to commit to just s l o w d o w n and learn about those the imperfect moments where I can choose to breathe it out instead of stress it out.
While I was sick my sweet husband took over errands for me, was working all of that week, was studying for his future tests for Med School, and doing so much for us that he was away from home a lot. Due to his being busy for us, and my inability to do anything, we’ve had one disastrous apartment. All of the laundry I did the day we got home from the break and that day I got sick has remained in a huge (and I mean huge, it covered the surface of our queen bed with a good foot and a half on top) pile on our bedroom floor, the kitchen counters loaded with dishes and piles of things to put away from vacation, our living room table covered with our wedding thank you notes almost half-way finished (we’re getting there!!), and the floor covered with our Christmas gifts we forgot to pack for family, and more. There has been, so, much.
I share all of this with you because I think we're all in this boat at some point in time. The beginning of my new year was supposed to be cleaning and organizing all of what I just explained, which would’ve taken a day or two, on top of the to-do list once you get home from vacation. And it was a lovely to-do list, one to get me prepped for the new school year and feeling good about my goals to succeed in my classes because they're going to be hefty. But, God changed my plans. It took me a day or two of a helplessly weak body to help me to see that it is O K A Y to let things slide every now and then. It’s okay to leave the sink full, the laundry in a pile, and the to-do list for a few days to breathe, rest, enjoy, or reorganize priorities. I am in grateful awe at what I’ve learned about and for myself over the past weekend. It was such a crazy whirlwind, and right now it’s just me and Peter- imagine kiddos in that picture! *whew* So so many of you live this life often and are absolute rockstars for doing so. (shout out to my sisters)
Now to bring in my initial New Year thoughts before I got so very sick...
Truly, the opportunity for a new year with new and refreshed goals has never felt as beautiful to me as this new year does. I'm not sure why that is, but I am so thrilled to experience it this year. I have learned and grown so much, yet still feel the weight of my many mistakes and faults so often. But with that, I want to take this year and bloom. Every single one of us carries within us the desire to change, to become something new. But often there is oh so much holding us back. I get that. Just remember it's usually yourself, and you don't want to stop yourself from reaching your goals, new heights, and even dreams! Don’t let this year get the best of you. Let this year help you bloom- all of the rain, sunshine, dirt, bugs, and more that comes with the growth of beautiful flowers we all love. It's not always the prettiest or happiest of journeys to reach the destined stage of our blooming flower, but it's worth it and is necessary to go through those intense ups and downs. And remember to take it slow. There is no need to rush and stress through these learning and growing moments. They will fly by so quickly, you'll miss them when they're gone.
So, take it all and bloom. 🌸
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." -Lao Tzu
I also wanted to share these photos from my favorite Instagram inspiration, Rebecca.
Her Instagram: @rebecca_simpleasthat
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